The subject of retirement is mostly centered on the financial aspect--savings, pension, investments and business. A person contemplating retirement is advised which stocks, mutual funds, time deposits and other investment options are at his disposal to make his retirement money grow. The subject of emotional ramifications of retirement is almost always not given much thought.
For one thing, in the workplace, the would-be retiree exercises control, enjoys respect from colleagues and is used to making decisions. His social network is extensive, varied and within his arms length. When he retires, the psychological transition from holding down the job to spending more time at home can produce depression as his social network is diminished. Furthermore, he now has to compromise, and is at an equal level of, if not submission to, decision-making at home. His previous identity which depended largely on his job is now gone and he feels the loss of this identity.
At home, the wife may suffer from what is called the retired husband’s syndrome (RHS). The symptoms are similar to some symptoms of stress: anxiety, rashes, irritability, ulcer even. The couple now have more time together but this time spent together isn’t exactly bliss. The wife who is used to being at home taking care of the kids and managing the home suddenly finds herself with an “intruder”. The husband, with nothing much to occupy him becomes listless and may begin to criticize what was once the wife’s normal routine at home which to her, is her territory. He may read the newspaper and leave it just anywhere he happens to be, or watch tv and fall asleep on the couch in the living room instead of heading to the bedroom, which the wife finds annoying. The husband may begin to assign himself as the financial manager which used to be his wife’s duty, thus making her feel resentful. In time, friction sets in as one’s spousal territory is "invaded" by the other.
Prior to retirement, couples should anticipate the fact that they will be spending more time together at home and would they really want to be doing everything together for much of this time? Depending on their lifestyle and attitudes, each one should give each other space to breathe and support each other to pursue their interests the way they prefer doing it even if it means going out separately either alone, with family or friends. Time apart is time well spent in terms of replenishing each other’s psychic energies.
Someone said that golf was probably invented by the wife of a retired husband. It may as well be. Retirement is the final phase in a couple’s lives, and this is a time to support each other more than any other while enjoying the journey.
Quote for today:
“A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job."
- Ella Harris
For one thing, in the workplace, the would-be retiree exercises control, enjoys respect from colleagues and is used to making decisions. His social network is extensive, varied and within his arms length. When he retires, the psychological transition from holding down the job to spending more time at home can produce depression as his social network is diminished. Furthermore, he now has to compromise, and is at an equal level of, if not submission to, decision-making at home. His previous identity which depended largely on his job is now gone and he feels the loss of this identity.
At home, the wife may suffer from what is called the retired husband’s syndrome (RHS). The symptoms are similar to some symptoms of stress: anxiety, rashes, irritability, ulcer even. The couple now have more time together but this time spent together isn’t exactly bliss. The wife who is used to being at home taking care of the kids and managing the home suddenly finds herself with an “intruder”. The husband, with nothing much to occupy him becomes listless and may begin to criticize what was once the wife’s normal routine at home which to her, is her territory. He may read the newspaper and leave it just anywhere he happens to be, or watch tv and fall asleep on the couch in the living room instead of heading to the bedroom, which the wife finds annoying. The husband may begin to assign himself as the financial manager which used to be his wife’s duty, thus making her feel resentful. In time, friction sets in as one’s spousal territory is "invaded" by the other.
Prior to retirement, couples should anticipate the fact that they will be spending more time together at home and would they really want to be doing everything together for much of this time? Depending on their lifestyle and attitudes, each one should give each other space to breathe and support each other to pursue their interests the way they prefer doing it even if it means going out separately either alone, with family or friends. Time apart is time well spent in terms of replenishing each other’s psychic energies.
Someone said that golf was probably invented by the wife of a retired husband. It may as well be. Retirement is the final phase in a couple’s lives, and this is a time to support each other more than any other while enjoying the journey.
Quote for today:
“A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job."
- Ella Harris
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