This is a true story but I have changed the names of the people involved for privacy. I have made this story concise but comprehensive. I hope readers, especially men will learn from this. And no, I am not digressing from the topic of this site--just read on. Also, find out who the real “She” was.
Martha came from a fairly good family background--not exactly wealthy but well situated and educated. She was a teacher. She met Mike who was then a budding military officer. Mike’s family background was not as better situated, but his parents had ambitions for their children, and they did their best to educate them.
Martha and Mike had a fairy tale courtship. She wasn’t attracted to him at first, but he pursued her relentlessly like a soldier would pursue an enemy, going as much as to take a leave of absence from his very important job and beat the odds to follow her when she went abroad. She was won over, and they got married.
Over the years, they both got ahead in their careers. They bore three children. Mike was a disciplinarian but a very loving father and husband to his children and Martha. Being an officer, he was periodically assigned out of town. Martha decided to resign from her job as dean in a university to spend more time with the kids. They were generally speaking a happy, traditional family.
The couple celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary. After this event, Martha noticed changes in Mike’s behavior--some bits of disconnection and new behavior patterns. Being a dutiful good wife, she took this as probably job-related, and therefore made his life even more comfortable, doubling her parenting duties to the children.
To make this long story short, one day Martha accidentally found out that Mike had a paramour half his age. She put the pieces of puzzle together of his new behavior and learned that the affair was going on for three years. She had evidences and confronted him, but he vehemently denied it. Martha’s world crumbled on her because she gave him all the love and support she could give him as a wife. She felt betrayed and angry, even thinking of avenging herself or separating from him. One thing that sustained her though was her spiritual faith; but the once happy family was never the same again.
Now, if you’re still reading up to here, don’t leave because this true story is just unfolding with the sudden turn of events.
Mike was being eyed by the police for questionable activities and found himself being accused of carnapping. He was arrested without warrant and put to jail. These events contributed to Martha’s distress. Through all this, she helped Mike by finding a good lawyer and got him out on bail. The press got hold of the situation and the allegations were publicized—a bigger blow on Martha’s hurts with the family’s reputation ruined.
The steps that Martha earlier initiated to separate from Mike was overturned and overwhelmed by the timing of these events. To add insult to injury, Mike had worked his way towards being financially broke because of his affair. He maxed out his credit cards and was not able to pay which made the banks ran after him. On top of that, Mike mortgaged their properties which were facing foreclosure. Martha was even more angry, distressed and aggrieved. Should she bail him out? The days spent to arrive at a decision was agonizing. (Now, to my female readers, what would you do in such a situation?)
Martha did help Mike, found money and settled the accounts. One in full, and the other in staggered payments. Also, one by one, the cases against Mike were dismissed for lack of merit, and were found to be harassment against him for job assignments he was undertaking. As a result of the dismissal of the cases, the full benefits due him for his 35 years of police service were given to him which would otherwise be suspended.
Yet, after the dust had settled, the family and the house were still not the same. Martha was still angry and that was understandable. It was not easy to forgive and much less forget. She needed time to heal, to shake off the lingering doubts, the betrayal. And Mike needed time to find himself, to deal with the shame and guilt of what his affair cost him, and the pain he caused his family. Thankfully, he severed his extra-marital ties, a first step to their healing.
Dear readers, I will not make judgment on Martha and Mike because that is not the purpose of this post. I am just telling you an age-old way to throw away your money and ruin your retirement. And did you guess who “She” was?
Quote for today:
"A good wife and health are a man's best wealth."
- An old proverb
Martha came from a fairly good family background--not exactly wealthy but well situated and educated. She was a teacher. She met Mike who was then a budding military officer. Mike’s family background was not as better situated, but his parents had ambitions for their children, and they did their best to educate them.
Martha and Mike had a fairy tale courtship. She wasn’t attracted to him at first, but he pursued her relentlessly like a soldier would pursue an enemy, going as much as to take a leave of absence from his very important job and beat the odds to follow her when she went abroad. She was won over, and they got married.
Over the years, they both got ahead in their careers. They bore three children. Mike was a disciplinarian but a very loving father and husband to his children and Martha. Being an officer, he was periodically assigned out of town. Martha decided to resign from her job as dean in a university to spend more time with the kids. They were generally speaking a happy, traditional family.
The couple celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary. After this event, Martha noticed changes in Mike’s behavior--some bits of disconnection and new behavior patterns. Being a dutiful good wife, she took this as probably job-related, and therefore made his life even more comfortable, doubling her parenting duties to the children.
To make this long story short, one day Martha accidentally found out that Mike had a paramour half his age. She put the pieces of puzzle together of his new behavior and learned that the affair was going on for three years. She had evidences and confronted him, but he vehemently denied it. Martha’s world crumbled on her because she gave him all the love and support she could give him as a wife. She felt betrayed and angry, even thinking of avenging herself or separating from him. One thing that sustained her though was her spiritual faith; but the once happy family was never the same again.
Now, if you’re still reading up to here, don’t leave because this true story is just unfolding with the sudden turn of events.
Mike was being eyed by the police for questionable activities and found himself being accused of carnapping. He was arrested without warrant and put to jail. These events contributed to Martha’s distress. Through all this, she helped Mike by finding a good lawyer and got him out on bail. The press got hold of the situation and the allegations were publicized—a bigger blow on Martha’s hurts with the family’s reputation ruined.
The steps that Martha earlier initiated to separate from Mike was overturned and overwhelmed by the timing of these events. To add insult to injury, Mike had worked his way towards being financially broke because of his affair. He maxed out his credit cards and was not able to pay which made the banks ran after him. On top of that, Mike mortgaged their properties which were facing foreclosure. Martha was even more angry, distressed and aggrieved. Should she bail him out? The days spent to arrive at a decision was agonizing. (Now, to my female readers, what would you do in such a situation?)
Martha did help Mike, found money and settled the accounts. One in full, and the other in staggered payments. Also, one by one, the cases against Mike were dismissed for lack of merit, and were found to be harassment against him for job assignments he was undertaking. As a result of the dismissal of the cases, the full benefits due him for his 35 years of police service were given to him which would otherwise be suspended.
Yet, after the dust had settled, the family and the house were still not the same. Martha was still angry and that was understandable. It was not easy to forgive and much less forget. She needed time to heal, to shake off the lingering doubts, the betrayal. And Mike needed time to find himself, to deal with the shame and guilt of what his affair cost him, and the pain he caused his family. Thankfully, he severed his extra-marital ties, a first step to their healing.
Dear readers, I will not make judgment on Martha and Mike because that is not the purpose of this post. I am just telling you an age-old way to throw away your money and ruin your retirement. And did you guess who “She” was?
Quote for today:
"A good wife and health are a man's best wealth."
- An old proverb
